"But if the physical or personal is entirely (or mainly) what attracts you and these are your highest priorities, then your problem is not with the women around you. Your problem is with God. The more you are in love with the beauty of Jesus Christ, the more you will be attracted to what you see of Him in the woman you're dating and the more important it will be to you. The less you love Him, the more important other things about her will become, things like her figure or style."
Boundless
The article at Boundless was directed towards guys. However, I have long since had similar thoughts about physical attraction. It isn't that we shouldn't be attracted to someone. God designed us to be attracted and attractive to others. It is whether we are seeing with Godly eyes or allowing our physical reactions to propel our desires.
I have a friend who is engaged. I love her to death, but recently I challenged her to consider whether her fiancée was the right man for her. He is a good guy there is no disputing. However, I had to ask her if he was the right man to be the spiritual leader of her home and the future father of her children. Her hesitancy was strong. Their relationship has been a roller coaster and I believe she thinks the ride has smoothed out. I'm worried for her though because married life isn't easy even if God is present. My fear for her is she is approaching her marriage like a rom-com. 90 minutes to a happily ever after.
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
Saturday, July 11, 2015
EC, NEC, EC, EC, NEC, EC
Every spring in high school we headed to New York to compete in student competition. We competed in academics, arts, and athletics -AAA. It was New Englanders competing against each other until the final night when New England competed against New York. It was the best New England had to offer versus the best New York had to offer.
Junior year one of my good friends and I decided awards shouldn't be given based on AAA. We graded all the guys as Exceptionally Cute (EC) or Not Exceptionally Cute (NEC). We entertained ourselves for over an hour generously handing out ECs while sprinkling in the occasional NECs.
The truth is God gave us eyes and an appreciation for beauty. If God didn't want us to recognize beauty we would have been created blind or God would have avoided creating anything of visual significance.
There are many things in this world - including guys - I would label EC. However if I can't find the EC in everything I may be blind.
Junior year one of my good friends and I decided awards shouldn't be given based on AAA. We graded all the guys as Exceptionally Cute (EC) or Not Exceptionally Cute (NEC). We entertained ourselves for over an hour generously handing out ECs while sprinkling in the occasional NECs.
The truth is God gave us eyes and an appreciation for beauty. If God didn't want us to recognize beauty we would have been created blind or God would have avoided creating anything of visual significance.
There are many things in this world - including guys - I would label EC. However if I can't find the EC in everything I may be blind.
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Do you not get horny?
Nearly twenty years ago one of my best friends asked me if I never got horny. The breakdown of the conversation is she thought because I was a pastor's daughter I was immune to sexual temptation.
With the SCOTUS ruling allowing homosexual marriage in all fifty states, the conversation floated through my memory. I remember thinking twenty years ago "if only being a pastor's kid made me immune to the temptations of sin."
Before we continue there are a few things we need to establish from Scripture.
With the SCOTUS ruling allowing homosexual marriage in all fifty states, the conversation floated through my memory. I remember thinking twenty years ago "if only being a pastor's kid made me immune to the temptations of sin."
Before we continue there are a few things we need to establish from Scripture.
- We are all sinners. Romans 3:23
- Death is the consequence of our sin Romans 6:23
- Our sins keep us separated from God. Isaiah 59:2
- Jesus died to cover our sins John 14:6
- Through grace and Jesus' sacrifice we are covered Romans 3:25 Colossians 1:22
- Love wins John 3:16
Why did a twenty year old conversation come to mind with SCOTUS' ruling? Because as a Christian it would be easier if I was immune to sin. I've watched social media implode as triumphant posts have clashed with condemnation.
The Bible tells me the following are sins:
- homosexuality I Corinthians 6:9
- idolatry I Corinthians 6:9
- adultery I Corinthians 6:9
- theft/stealing I Corinthians 6:10
- greed I Corinthians 6:10
- being drunk I Corinthians 6:10
- slandering I Corinthians 6:10
- murder and a few more Exodus 20
- a bunch of other covered in Ephesians 5
Am I pleased with the direction SCOTUS chose? No. I believe we are succumbing to the temporary pleasures given by sin and ignoring the eternal promises of God. However, before I hop on Facebook or Twitter and condemn my homosexual friends and their supporters in their revelry. I took a breath and thought about how Jesus would address his friends if He'd been walking the Earth today.
Homosexuality is a sin. Lying is a sin. Stealing is a sin. Slander is a sin. Every Sunday we have Christians in our churches who have committed sin. Christians are just good at covering up the lifestyle sins and committing those which aren't as public. Christians are notorious for slander and bitterness. Every Sunday a seat is warmed by someone with an unnecessary amount of hate in their heart. They serve on the Board and teach Sunday School. They lie and place blame. They skew facts in their favor. .
All sin keeps us from God. It is part of our human nature to quantify most aspects of our lives. Texas has made it their states motto "everything is bigger in Texas." We measure success, height, weight, looks, etc, against others. It is the geometry effect. If a>b and b>c then a>c. Our minds are constantly determining where we fall in the totem pole of life. Christ didn't die with a finite amount of grace with which to bestow on us. We aren't limited in the sins we can commit and be forgiven for.
Christ died for all sins. He died that all may come to a relationship with God through Him. The reality is not all will receive the gift of His grace. Many will pursue temporary pleasures because it is easier than eternal salvation.
Christians aren't perfect. They have acknowledged their need for God. They have accepted the gift of grace. They are still tempted. Most Christians sin on a daily basis. Sin is our default state. The Bible tells us we will be tempted, but God gives us the strength to overcome. I Corinthians 10:13 For those times we don't overcome temptation, God has poured out His grace to us.
I adore all my friends - the liars, the cheaters, the slanderers, the homosexuals, the sexually immoral. I need Christ's grace as much as they do because it doesn't matter I'm a pastor's daughter. I lust when I see a good-looking guy. I gossip. I get angry. I have thoughts I would be ashamed to voice. I'm as human as the next person. I need Christ just as badly as anyone else.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
It's been a while
I'm still mulling over the definition of beauty, how to properly see beauty, but mostly how to understand beauty. Just when I think I have the right answer something knocks me upside the head and I have to re-evaluate.
Currently it is the message I just received doing a Christian webinar on the art of writing.
Sidenote: I'm covering this subject on different blogs so I'm going to try and refrain from repeating myself while also not leaving out any details.
The message was pretty simple. Readers don't want to read about unattractive males/females. They want their main characters to be attractive. They see ugly all the time. They don't want to read about ugly.
I paraphrased a bit. Shortened it up. However, those words were the advice given to a group of aspiring Christian fiction writers. In other words. Let's not have real and relatable characters. Let's have attractive ones so we'll cheer louder when the model and the millionaire get together at the end of the book.
I call doggy doody. First of all if you have to make your characters attractive so your readers remain engaged, you are a bad writer. Put down the pen and find a new hobby. Readers can't see your characters so they need to be attracted to your characters for more than their six packs, hair, eyes, etc.
Second I want to see this philosophy backed up in Scripture. We were all "fearfully and wonderfully made" according to God. I don't see anyone arguing with Him. So the 25lbs overweight woman is wonderful. The man with a scar on his arm was made in God's image. Why can't the girl with braces attract the starting point guard? Why can't a middle-aged man attract an athletic woman.
While physical beauty is open to interpretation, internal beauty is a bit more straightforward. If you have a pleasant personality, people will want to be with you.If you are angry all the time, people will refrain from spending time with you. Who stands a better chance of finding someone who they enjoy spending time with?
Currently it is the message I just received doing a Christian webinar on the art of writing.
Sidenote: I'm covering this subject on different blogs so I'm going to try and refrain from repeating myself while also not leaving out any details.
The message was pretty simple. Readers don't want to read about unattractive males/females. They want their main characters to be attractive. They see ugly all the time. They don't want to read about ugly.
I paraphrased a bit. Shortened it up. However, those words were the advice given to a group of aspiring Christian fiction writers. In other words. Let's not have real and relatable characters. Let's have attractive ones so we'll cheer louder when the model and the millionaire get together at the end of the book.
I call doggy doody. First of all if you have to make your characters attractive so your readers remain engaged, you are a bad writer. Put down the pen and find a new hobby. Readers can't see your characters so they need to be attracted to your characters for more than their six packs, hair, eyes, etc.
Second I want to see this philosophy backed up in Scripture. We were all "fearfully and wonderfully made" according to God. I don't see anyone arguing with Him. So the 25lbs overweight woman is wonderful. The man with a scar on his arm was made in God's image. Why can't the girl with braces attract the starting point guard? Why can't a middle-aged man attract an athletic woman.
While physical beauty is open to interpretation, internal beauty is a bit more straightforward. If you have a pleasant personality, people will want to be with you.If you are angry all the time, people will refrain from spending time with you. Who stands a better chance of finding someone who they enjoy spending time with?
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
It's a soul thing
Let's talk about being attracted to someone. Supposedly we all have a type. Some are just looking for someone breathing. Some have a long list of physical traits. Some have a long list of personality traits with a couple of physical traits thrown in. Some aren't looking.
I believe those who are discerning but open themselves up to more than just certain physical characteristics have a greater chance of spending their life with someone. Why? Simply because you shouldn't start by weeding out all guys with a certain color hair. You greatly reduce the chances of meeting a woman if she has to be a certain dress size. I am convinced though you need to be a bit more choosy than picking someone who is breathing.
If I walk into a room of strangers, I can easily pick out a guy I would like to spend time with. I'd choose him on his looks. There are certain physical markers which I find more attractive than others. I'm a sucker for dark hair and blue eyes (hello, Matt Bomer). If you list out all my male friends, I could pick the lesser of the evils (it's an expression) with whom I think I could be compatible with. If you parade fifty guys in front of me who are a mix of the two groups, it might be harder to choose. Do you go with someone you are physically attracted to or do you choose someone you know?
There is no denying the initial physical response. We all have eyes and when our brain registers "hottie!" we have a tendency to take a second look. I'd encourage everyone though to take a second look at the friends you have. Don't check for the physical markers but check to see if they are someone you could spend the rest of your life with.
Physical attraction can dissipate in the stench of sweaty socks left in the bedroom.
I believe those who are discerning but open themselves up to more than just certain physical characteristics have a greater chance of spending their life with someone. Why? Simply because you shouldn't start by weeding out all guys with a certain color hair. You greatly reduce the chances of meeting a woman if she has to be a certain dress size. I am convinced though you need to be a bit more choosy than picking someone who is breathing.
If I walk into a room of strangers, I can easily pick out a guy I would like to spend time with. I'd choose him on his looks. There are certain physical markers which I find more attractive than others. I'm a sucker for dark hair and blue eyes (hello, Matt Bomer). If you list out all my male friends, I could pick the lesser of the evils (it's an expression) with whom I think I could be compatible with. If you parade fifty guys in front of me who are a mix of the two groups, it might be harder to choose. Do you go with someone you are physically attracted to or do you choose someone you know?
There is no denying the initial physical response. We all have eyes and when our brain registers "hottie!" we have a tendency to take a second look. I'd encourage everyone though to take a second look at the friends you have. Don't check for the physical markers but check to see if they are someone you could spend the rest of your life with.
Physical attraction can dissipate in the stench of sweaty socks left in the bedroom.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
No, really I'm a girl
A recurring theme in my life is I suck at being a girl. I make a horrible girl. This isn't some twist on words where I tell you I am a woman. I'm a horrible female.
At least according to the pink brigade. I don't mean Victoria Secret. I am referring to the "sugars and spice and everything nice" expectations. I'd rather watch a football game than a soap opera. I'd rather go to a live sporting event than clubbing. I don't see anything wrong with yoga pants and a tank top every day. I usually choose an action movie over a chick flick.
It's been recently where I've become increasingly self-conscious of my failing grade at femininity. It never used to bother me when I'd get teased for knowing more about football than most males. Being one of the guys was nice because women can be such drama. However, someone planted a seed - an evil weed of a seed.
My Facebook status of "single" is a direct result of my lack of feminine qualities according to this person. If I want to attract a male I should tone down the football love and accent with the color pink. It isn't going to happen. Anymore than I am capable of leaving the "it ain't happening" I originally typed.
I might have been given an "F" in being a girly girl, but I'm owning the "A+" in life.
At least according to the pink brigade. I don't mean Victoria Secret. I am referring to the "sugars and spice and everything nice" expectations. I'd rather watch a football game than a soap opera. I'd rather go to a live sporting event than clubbing. I don't see anything wrong with yoga pants and a tank top every day. I usually choose an action movie over a chick flick.
It's been recently where I've become increasingly self-conscious of my failing grade at femininity. It never used to bother me when I'd get teased for knowing more about football than most males. Being one of the guys was nice because women can be such drama. However, someone planted a seed - an evil weed of a seed.
My Facebook status of "single" is a direct result of my lack of feminine qualities according to this person. If I want to attract a male I should tone down the football love and accent with the color pink. It isn't going to happen. Anymore than I am capable of leaving the "it ain't happening" I originally typed.
I might have been given an "F" in being a girly girl, but I'm owning the "A+" in life.
Thursday, January 30, 2014
Alligator skin
Let's talk leather skin. This guy, we are going to call him Al, was saved from becoming a belt, purse, pair of boots, or even upholstery because he lives in an aquarium. His skin is highly desirably to the wealthy.
Doesn't it cost us an arm and a leg to keep our skin from becoming like his? We scrub and cleanse to prevent blemishes and then spread the goop to moisturize then we add another layer to prevent wrinkles. Al's rough skin makes him a valuable commodity while our rough skin is a curse.
However, maybe the lessen is we should stop fighting our natural state. God created us knowing exactly what our bodies required to survive. Al has rough skin to survive in the rough elements. Humans have softer skin, easier to break and easier to mark up. Maybe so we'd have a bit more sympathy and take better care of each other. Humans also have less teeth and hands. Maybe so we stop biting each other and can shake hands.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)